[this post was first published on draugiem.lv]
if you worked with me, you know that I am quite annoying 
I am- not “I could be”: because when something happens often… it is a certainty, not an option.
I am coming from Italy, a country that started using its own national language not too long ago.
Uh?
Yes. Because, as an Italian politician said “we created Italy, now we need to create the Italians”- and that was in the XIX century.
In my country, most things are temporary… like the anthem, supposedly a temporary choice (alternatives have been proposed- like “va pensiero” )
and some “temporary” taxes. I remember that, as a cadre, I was paying for a deduction on my salary to build apartments for people like me… pity that the institution supposedly building those apartments had been dismantled 
but another temporary example, my favourite, was when, one or two decades ago, there was a choice to close down useless government non-profits (”enti inutili”).
if you know- once you create something, it struggles to stay on forever.
and one of these non-profit was an institution created to cater for veterans.
mind: let’s say that I am referring to 1980s.
the veterans? yes- from the “Guerre Garibaldine”- second half of XIX century
and what is the relevance to the language?
well, because a language is a living entity.
but, until mid-XIX century, Italian was mainly a written language
that’s why an high school student until recently was still able to read Dante or Machiavelli (XVI century).
after 1860, Italians tried to create a national curriculum and language (quarreling about the source dialect: Florentine? Others? A mix?)
eventually, it was more or less settled.
but, when I was in the Army (my barracks where in Vercelli), my group was split in two- the specialists and the service side.
most of the specialists had at least an high school diploma and we had a high percentage of college graduates (both unusual events, in 1980s- my brother initially went in a group were he was the only one who completed high school).
most of the service personnel were coming from either Northern or Southern areas, with almost everyone leaving school before they were 15 (in some cases, before 10).
an example: in one room, they spoke only a dialect from nearby Naples (they hailed all from Forcella); in another room… a dialect from Brescia (a mix of Italian and some Germanic parts).
neither of them understood each other. eventually, I learned to talk with both.
fast forward, late 1980s. I started working with foreigners in my country.
a funny issue: I saw that most of them were learning Italian grammar (rules wrapped around exceptions, I would say; we boast of being the closest to Latin, and my Romanian friends rightly beg to differ, but Latin grammar is more structured).
The issue: how many of you understand subjunctive in your own language? Or now how to use properly the conditional tense to express a doubt that something would happen?
Some Italian: “S’i fossi foco, arderei lo mondo”.
I will translate not verbatim, but according to its real meaning: as you are not the fire, you cannot burn the world (Cecco Angiolieri, if you are interested).
This is called an unreal hypothesis (if you want- a joke!)
Now. Almost nobody uses it anymore.
Therefore- when I spotted somebody using it for something more subtle, I looked around… and I saw that nobody had understood that my colleague was joking :@
Therefore… learn the grammar. But, once done… check what the locals really use.
My example?
You know that I am learning Dutch (well, the original plan was to settle in Belgium, so, why not?, as it is the only national language that I never used).
Yesterday evening I was studying the Dutch pronouns (about 100 pages of that!).
I wrote to an English/American friend: a.k.a. the 1000 ways to skin a phrase (yes, the Americans say “skin a squirrel”- but leave the poor squirrel alone…).
I have to update my count: 1 million ways beside the rules, there are the exceptions, and what people usually say…
I think that, after I will finish my chapter on pronouns and the other one on word order, I have to get my hands on enough Dutch-written material in different “codes” (colloquial, formal, informal…)
not to read it, but to see the structure and what is commonly used
if you want- it is like getting back when, as a child, I played with codes, decoding, and eventually basic encryption/decryption
therefore, with my (still) poor vocabulary, while I enjoy the “game” of changing a preposition+wat into a waar
… before getting carried away by word games, I better check what is really used- I never heard more than a couple of dozen pronouns used in spoken Dutch
because a funny side of Dutch is that, once you grasp the logic and the way words differ from their English equivalent, you can understand more than you can talk or write. You can actually guess.
I think that Dutch is the first language that I learned where the distance between what I can say (not to mention write) and what I can read is so wide
if you speak English and German, pick up the introduction of a good bilingual (English/Dutch or German/Dutch) dictionary, read it, and then try guessing: you will be amazed to discover how many words you will be able to understand
but try to write the simplest phrases… 
have a good lunch!
